Double O Countdown: On Her Majesty's Secret Service

My on-line friend Dan Fogarty, holds this entry into the 007 cannon in low esteem. He has it ranked near the bottom of the list and he lays the blame squarely on the shoulders of George Lazenby. He thought Lazenby was boring and the script is boring having Bond go undercover as a college professor. Maybe I'm a little biased, what's wrong with that?  Anyway, this is the first, first run Bond film I saw as a kid. All of the Connery films I'd seen before this had been in re-release. I had watched enough Avengers to know who Diana Rigg was, and the idea of Bond really falling in love was a nice twist.

001  The New Blofeld

After meeting Bond in the Flesh, and Bond meeting Blofeld face to face in "You Only Live Twice" it is a little hard to figure why in continuity, they would not recognize each other when they finally meet up here. Maybe it is the fact that both characters are played by new actors. I'll let other debate the merits and faults of Lazenby, but as for Blofeld, I think this was a step up. Instead of being a near dwarf with a scar, in this film, he is played as a vigorous man, capable of fighting on a bobsled and skiing dangerously down a mountain. Telly Savalas wins my vote as the best Blofeld that we get to see.

002 The New Bond

In the one wink to the audience, the new Bond acknowledges his situation. Sean Connery had left the series, the posters for the movie featured a faceless 007, and after the first fight, when Bond beats the bad guys but loses the girl as she drives off. He stands on the beach with her shoes in her hand and says, as he looks straight at us..."This never happened to the other fellow...". That's a good laugh and it is in the spirit of the films continuing on.

"This never happened to the other fellow"

003 No Title Song

For years one of my pet peeves about the movie was the lack of a title song. The Louis Armstrong vocal is a nice tune but it is buried in the plot. At some point however, I started paying attention to the theme played over the titles and guess what, it kicks ass. Those four descending notes played with electronic magic actually build a lot of excitement.



The guitar and horns complement this melody perfectly. Excellent!

004  1969 Technology

Bond breaks into a solicitors office in Switzerland to gain access to documents that might reveal Blofeld's location. He need a safe cracker and a photocopier. Lucky for him, they come together in a single piece of equipment, unlucky for him, that equipment is the size of a shipping trunk. No problem, he arranges to have it delivered to him in the office by a construction crane and bucket from a project next door. Now, what to do while waiting for the safe cracking machine to do it's job? Fortunately, there is reading material in the office. 

 This is a tight little sequence that build tension out of a guy coming back from lunch. It may not be a countdown on a nuclear device, but it builds some good suspense and it has a fun little payoff when 007 tears out the centerfold to take with him. 

005  The Bond Girl

Countessa Tracy Draco is played by the former Emma Peele of the Avengers British spy TV show. That catsuit she wore in the credits was enough to solidify my sexual orientation at 10 years old.  Now I was more mature and so was she. As Bond's object of affection she was quirky, standoffish, beautiful and capable. Late in the film she fights a henchman for five minutes and thrashs him with a broken bottle and nails him against a wall. She is not a damsel in distress, so much as the type of woman Ian Fleming always said Bond would fall for, "a bird with a wing down".

 She also rescues Bond and drives her car as well as he does in the opening scene and in the chase that is featured latere in the film. 

006  Snow Plowed

I appear to have an affinity for exotic death scenes in the Bond series. The skiing chase down the snow covered alps is the first of a long line of ski sequences in Bond films. From the looks of the trailer, Daniel Craig is about to join the list of Bonds who have used mad snow skills to defeat their enemy. In "On Her Majesty's Secret Service", one of Bonds pursuers does not make it across the trench that a large snow plow is working on. Well before Steve Buscemi was disposed of in "fargo" we got this scene.

007 The Ice Slide

This series will be filled with brief moments that mark the series with indelible memories. My favorite from this film is James Bond, on his belly, with a machine gun blasting, sliding along the ice at Piz Gloria, where he had been curling with the bodacious beauties just a day or two before. It is the coolest image from this snowbound story. It was an improvised moment of brilliance from director Peter Hunt.

James Bond Will Return in "Diamonds Are Forever."

Double O Countdown: You Only Live Twice

Despite the exotic setting and the lush musical theme, "You Only Live Twice" is not one of my personal favorites. It feels a little long and there are plot points that make no sense, but it does have some assets and those that I find most worthy from the film are as follows:

001  

The lovely Kissy Suzuki, a Bond girl with few lines, a beautiful face and a name that only hints at being coarse. 

002

In a Pre-title sequence that seems to exist only because it is cool to show, Bond gets "killed" in bed and is subsequently buried at sea.

 

003

  Not quite as cool as a shark tank, but equally gruesome to contemplate.  The evil Helga Brandt learns the fate of those who fail SPECTRE.

004

This one and the next entry could be reversed and it would be alright by me, both feature the secret lair of Blofeld. This one has Ninjas.

005 

What is the best place to hide a secret rocket base in Japan... where else but in a freaking volcano. The Ken Adams design on this is marvelous and the use it was put to was extensive. Reportedly, the set cost more than all of the money spent making Dr. No.

 

006

Little Nellie

Q comes to Japan with a couple of suitcases and Bond wipes out the SPECTRE air force in an afternoon. The Frank McCarthy painting is spectacular

but the actual shots of the gyrocopter are pretty cool as well.

007

Finally face to face with Ernst Stavro Blofeld. After appearing in two films from only the back or chest down, the master mind behind the massive criminal cartel is revealed. A lot of Bond fans don't care for the diminutive scarred criminal that is shown here, but the Mao Jacket and the scar go a long way in establishing an ethos for Blofeld that will be unshakable for the future. Hats off to the late Donal Pleasance.

Monologuing his way into our consciousness, while all the while petting the cat. 

 

James Bond Will Return in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service".

Double O Countdown: Thunderball

James Bond returns in the biggest Bond film yet. If "Goldfinger" was an explosion, "Thunderball" was an earthquake. This film is the closest thing to today's event blockbusters. It did incredible box office, broke records everywhere and set a standard of "BIG" that all the Bond films since have emulated.

001

For me as a kid, the most memorable images of ugly death from a James Bond film, came in this film.  The treacherous Angelo, operated on to resemble Derval, lands the hijacked bomber in the ocean. For his last minute demand for more money, Largo takes the opportunity to kill him by cutting his oxygen while trapped in the seat of the plane. Watching him flail and then stop was traumatic for my nightmares for years.

002

As a last minute replacement, so the opening song of the film would include the title, Tom Jones wails his heart out (and reportedly collapsed after sustaining the last note).

003

Every spy film lampoon since has used some variation of the shark tank, an original created for this film.

004

Upping the stakes and the gadgetry starts with the Jet Pack that 007 uses to escape in the pre-title sequence in this film. The artwork for the poster exceeds the actual shot which has Bond donning a helmet in the middle of the chase.

005

John Barry Rules
Maybe his greatest work for the series that he did from it's inception to "The Living Daylights". Here is a section of Barry Awesomeness that you can enjoy for ten minutes.

006

It goes on too long, and the setting ends up being a hindrance to the intensity of a real fight, but the underwater battle scene is the highlight of the visual moments in the film.

007

In a boardroom meeting among killers, we should expect brutality, the send up in Austin Powers is what most of today's audiences will remeber, but my guess is after the new film opens, and the organization is revealed, there will be more respect than laughter in the audience.



James Bond will return in "You Only Live Twice".

007 Countdown: Goldfinger

Double Oh Countdown from My Favorite James Bond Film

001

 

 The Climax of the film has a satisfying and over the top exit for our villain. Auric Goldfinger gets a little weight management treatment and he learns about air pressure at the same time.

002 

Many consider him the greatest henchman in the series. Unlike "Jaws" who ends up actually speaking in one of the films he is in, Oddjob never breaks character. He doesn't speak at all. He does however smile in a manner that should make James pull back his hand as fast as if it were the rattle on a snake.

003

It is hard to believe that one of the coolest sequences in the film is not an action scene, but rather a nice stroll through the golf course, with a battle of wills that shows exactly how forceful this confrontation of characters will be. 

004

Excuse me, what did you say your name was?

 

005

I'm going to cheat because there are two iconic images that this film has left us with, both of which involve a body splayed out on a flat surface. Jill Masterson painted to death is an image that is hard to shake and it was the avatar for this film in almost all of the promotion.

The second image is also widely parodied, why do you suppose Dr. Evil wanted his sharks to have laser beams on their heads?  The scene also includes one of the most quoted lines  from any James Bond film:

James Bond: Do you expect me to talk?
Auric Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die! 

006 

 Let's keep this simple, it has a f***ing ejector seat.

007

The Greatest Title song of all 24 James Bond Films. Shirley Bassey takes no prisoners and everyone else is left trying to match her for the next 50 years.



James Bond will return in "Thunderball".

007 Countdown :From Russia with Love

This is one of the films that made it hard to whittle down to seven items, there are so many wonderful elements that can't be listed because it would violate my self imposed limitation, (You on the other hand can make whatever suggestions you want and I will be forced to listen.)

001

Rosa Klebb

Fleming had a thing about lesbians and Klebb is his main criticism. She is also ruthless, cunning and dangerous.Lotte Lenya had talent but looks were definately a major factor in casting. She had to be tough, butch and potentially revolting to the recruit she is manipulating to do the work of SPECTRE.

002

Matt Monroe

One of the unappreciated delights of the film is the Theme song that is not actually played over the titles. There is an jazzed up instrumental version for the creative credits flashed on the bodies of belly dancers, but except for a small clip heard on a background radio, we have to wait until the end of the film to hear the English version of Frank Sinatra smoke this tune and make us wistfully dream of visiting Mother Russia.

003

Red Grant gets Two Massages

We saw Grant dispatch the James Bond doppelganger in the opening scene, but his real introduction is as a silent piece of muscle. First he is administered to by a lovely woman who strips down to her underwear to do her job. We know where Bond would have gone with that, but Grant is indifferent.

Then Rosa Klebb tests his fitness with a hay-maker to the solar plexus with a nasty set of brass knuckles. He responds to her in pretty much the same way. We know this is not a nice man, and that he is extremely dangerous.

004  Grant as Guardian Angel (Literally a specter)

For most of the adventure in Istanbul, we see Grant in the background. He stirs up trouble, he protects Bond from an inadvertent death and he never speaks. He is as silent as a ghost. When he is shadowing Bond on the Orient Express his reflection shows up more than he does until he finally makes contact.

005  The Beginning of the Gizmo Cliche

In Dr. No, Bond is confronted by a quartermaster who simply replaces his gun. "Q" is introduced in this film and he has more than a Walther to offer 007. The first in a long line of gadgets and tricks that sometimes work but often not the way they are expected to. The attache case has secret compartments, emergency money, a sniper rifle and a gas bomb.Just what the kids want for Christmas. That is sometimes Bond's joke about the gruesome items that Q Branch comes up with, but it was very true for me.

As a kid, I wanted all that spy stuff. For my birthday, here is what I received. I still have the plastic shell of the toy briefcase, although it is cracked. The Decoder tool and the code book are still in tack. I don't have the silencer that goes on the end of the gun but the shoulder stock and the sniper site are still in my kit. I used up the business cards with the invisible 007 logo, but I still have one that I wrote my name on when I was eight. The rubber dagger is long gone however. If anyone wants to get me a gift for Christmas, I'd love to be restocked with this item.

006  Sexual Imprinting on a preadolescent  boy.

There are two things that confirmed for me my own hetrosexuality. The first is the image of Diana Rigg as Emma Peele in the Avengers TV series from the 1960s. That catsuit was amazing. The bigger tipoff however was in this film. Nothing for the rest of my life has been as erotic as a single black ribbon worn in the correct way. Thank you Daniela Bianchi.

007  Red Grant and 007 go mano a mano.

In what may be the best fight scene in the whole series of twenty four films, Robert Shaw and Sean Connery (and their doubles) take us through a brutal, up close fight to the death. There are surprises, reverses and satisfied expectations everywhere. The shaky camera technique used so often these days to give a scene reality is completely unnecessary here as these two duel hand to hand for the real climax of the picture, (In spite of three more action scenes to follow).

James Bond will Return in "Goldfinger"

The 007 Countdown of Greatness Part 1 (Dr. No)

This will be a series of posts leading up to the release of the newest James Bond film: SPECTRE.
Since I have posted mini reviews on all the films in another series that will be linked throughout this project, I thought I would do something a little bit different. I am going to post my 007 favorite things from each film in the series and provide an explanation, a picture or a link for all of them. With some films on the list, it will be gut-wrenching to have to limit my list to seven items. Other films in the series might produce a struggle for me to find seven things that I like. This mostly provides an opportunity for me to watch all of the films again (some for maybe the thirtieth time) and get jacked up for the new movie. I hope any of you reading will feel free to share your own lists or to disagree with the choices I made. Now, lets have some Double Oh fun.

001 

In a long line of films that climax with an explosion that wipes out the secret lair of the villain, the destruction by nuclear reactor overload, is the first. Crab Key goes BOOM!

002

The recurring international terrorist organization, which minimized the need for the Soviets to be the bad guys in every movie, is introduced in this movie. In the books, SPECTRE was not introduced until "Thunderball", but Dr. No introduces himself as a member of that evil institution, "I'm a Member of SECTRE...Special Executive for Counter Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, Extortion. The four great cornerstones of power headed by the greatest brains in the world". The portrait of Wellington Bond sees at dinner with Dr. No. was stolen in a famous case the year before the movie came out. This is a reference to the extensive criminal activities of the organization.

003

When being given his mission by M, he is chastised for his use of a Beretta and the now famous Walther PPK is introduced. Bonds boss has a great quote that will guide him for years to come:
"The OO is a license to kill not be killed."

004

Production design  is a huge part of James Bond films. In the first sequence where that becomes extremely evident, the devious Dr. Dent picks up a package to help him eliminate Bond. The interview room where the disembodied voice of Dr. No chastises him and then delivers the deadly spider, is a work of visual genius that will lead Ken Adams to work with Stanley Kubrick and make six more 007 films as well.

005

The start of a half century tradition takes place in the beginning of the film. Bond introduces himself to Sylvia Trench, his gaming opponent.

006

For almost all Bond fans, the defining moment of the first James Bond adventure is the appearance of Honey Ryder in the film. Ursula Andress , steps out of the ocean in a white bikini, and every man now wants to be James Bond for the next fifty years.

Oh, so this is what being a super spy is all about, Sign me up please.

007

Warning!!! Spoiler ahead

My favorite moment from Dr. No occurs when after setting a trap for Professor Dent, Bond dispatches him with the most brutal moment by 007 in any of the movies. It finishes with a great quote.



So that's it for now.

James Bond will Return in 

"From Russia With Love"

The Martian

Ridley Scott is one of the most ambitious film makers of our time, he is closing in on eighty years old, but like Clint Eastwood, he continues to prove that he still has it. This is a smart, big screen entertainment with a good mix of drama and humor and a well realized visual environment in which to play. As a consequence, this film should be a smash, coming as it does at the end of a long stretch of mediocrity in the cinema year.

A combination of "Cast Away", "Apollo Thirteen" and "Macgyver", "the Martian" tells the story of an astronaut abandoned accidentally on the surface of Mars, and the effort that he and others make to try to bring him home. It is heroic in the sense that an individual facing incredible odds, continues to strive to live, but it is equally heroic to think of the sacrifices and efforts made by a litany of others who would bend heaven and Earth to help him. The complexities of a journey to Mars are outlined in the continuing series of crises that Matt Damon's character has to face. Basic survival requires ingenuity that would challenge the wisest of us, but driven by  hope and an indefatigable will to live, a smart guy manages to find ways. From a storytelling perspective it works really well. As a slice of imagined reality, it squeezes by on some convenient fictionalized story points. If "Gravity" got criticized for playing fast and loose with some aspects of physics, then this movie should end up in a jailcell right next door. The truth is that story is more important than physics when it comes to cinema, and the theme of hope trumps all.

Most of the plot that takes place on Earth and on Mars, feels real. There are political considerations and bureaucratic power issues at home that spice up the dilemma on Mars.  A solid cast of actors makes the NASA organization recognizable to anyone who has worked in a large environment. Government regulations on transparency complicate the problem solving on Earth, but allow a decision to exclude the crew of the expedition vessel from some of the early events in the film. Fortunately, Matt Damon, looking like Leo in the upcoming film "The Revenant" manages to inject enough humor and personality into the story to keep us interested. The talking and planning and arguing that takes place at home plays second fiddle to the adventure on the red planet. I will say however, that it was an amusing touch to have "The Lord of the Rings" referenced while "Boromir" was sitting right at the table.

The one place where the movie does not quite fill it's potential is in the main ship and crew that left their colleague behind. They are cut out of the story for a big chunk of time and then when they are brought back into it, the answers to problems that were at least a struggle for Damon's character, get resolved a little too quickly with some of the same scientific hocus pocus that would fix a problem in "Star Trek".  By the end of the film, we can live with that as well because the movie really is a little long. The visuals on the ship are fun to look at but never seem as real at those on the surface of the planet. The jokes about the music selection available suggests that in the future, we have less technology available for an app than an ipod from 2004 had. These are minor quibbles but the film is strong enough to overcome some of that.

A whole planet comes together in a way that we would hope it would with a situation like this. International cooperation might be expected but this might be a fantasy as well. If it is too fantastic to believe, it's still inspiring to fantasize about. Duct tape and the human heart can overcome almost any obstacle, and that feels true, even when the science says it is not.