The Man With the Iron Fists

 Here is a movie that doesn't attempt to be profound, deep or even good. It just seeks to be entertaining and it largely succeeds. This is a Kung Fu movie for people like me who like Kung Fu movies but are not aficionados. I don't know all the actors and directors of every Hong Kong chop socky epic of the last thirty years. I could not tell you the difference between the styles of martial arts or the first time that people started defying gravity in these sorts of movie. I just know that hundreds are killed, moves are fetishized, and Russel Crowe shows up to kick butt along with all the other names in the picture.

There is one immediate drawback for me. The soundtrack includes a lot of urban music that uses a certain word which people in polite society refrain from. No, not that one. The one I am concerned about starts with n and ends with er. What that music is doing in a film about 19th century China is a little confusing. Since the writer/director RZA, is apparently a music figure, I guess it is his right to mix in the genres. I was put off by having to listen to the use of the "N" word a couple dozen times in the Wu Tang Clan song that opens the film. Later in the film, when the score is cribbed from Ennio Morricone, I was more tolerant because there are some themes from old westerns in these movies. The connection to any of the plot is tangential for most of the tunes. They appear to simply have a sound that the director felt worked with the scenes.

Waring clans in silly wigs and costumes, populate the picture. None of it makes much sense but then it doesn't need to. We don't need to understand anything more than this group want to kill that group. The reasons don't matter, only the amount of blood splattered is going to make much difference. I did find that the frequent use of CGI blood, undermined the film a bit. Quentin Tarantino is a producer on the film. He introduced a red band trailer for "Django Unchained" that is playing with this film. It is clear he is not relying on CGI to make his upcoming epic bloody, and it looks all the better as a result. The flying acrobatic kung fu moves in the movie are all fun to watch, but I did sometimes long for Jackie Chan to show up and just do the same things without the wires and slow motion.

The director RZA, casts himself as the title character. That is unfortunate because he can't act a lick. His face is primarily blank and motionless. His body movements seem so rehearsed as to be mechanical. His voice never seems to vary, he has the monotone of a bored shaolin monk. There is an elaborate backstory created for the character, but no one needed it and I know I didn't care anymore about him after it was revealed than I did before. In contrast, Russell Crowe seems to be acting just enough to sell the character he plays without investing enough of himself to make it more memorable than his hat and weapon. RZA's blacksmith character also relies on a costume to act the part for him, too bad his look was dull instead of the ridiculous look that Crowe sports.  Not to be too insensitive here but Crowe is fat. At least for this movie. Now I know what middle age fat guys look like, and intimidating is not it. They shoot him in full costume most of the time but he is just a couple of Big Macs away from Col. Kurtz wandering around in the dark. There is one silly scene where he is muff diving for beads out of a prostitutes money maker, in a bathtub. His are the only breasts seen in the movie, and it is a wet tee shirt moment we can live without. Other than that he was fine.

This movie is silly, violent, well choreographed and badly scored. It will sit on the shelf with a dozen other English language Kung Fu epics that entertained without enthralling us. For the two hours I was watching, it was fine. I'd watch it again on satellite just about anytime. I won't be adding it to my video collection or putting it on any must see lists. Catch it quick. Better stuff is out there and better things in this violent action genre are coming soon.

Countdown to Skyfall: 50th Anniversary of 007 Part 6

 With a little over a week to go, I am closing out my reviews of the James Bond films by actor playing the role, by featuring the first James Bond. Technically, since I have been counting up based on the number of times an actor played Bond in the films, Connery would have been in the previous post. He only made the six EON 007 films. Because of unusual lawsuit, writer's credit and a determined screwball, we got a seventh James Bond adventure featuring Connery and allowing me to finish with the ultimate Bond performer.

 I have nothing against "You Only Live Twice", the truth is there is not a Bond film that I won't watch (or watch again).  This adventure has the advantage of an exotic setting that was new to the franchise and it featured a set that became the standard by which spy films would be parodied for ever after. Who doesn't think the idea of hiding the villain's secret base inside of a volcano is funtastic? The gadgets in the movie, especially "Little Nellie" are a kick. The opening of the movie features the second death of Bond in the pre-title sequences and it makes the title make some sense since the haiku game Bond plays with Tiger Tanaka while getting plastered on sake has been eliminated. 

The reason this film ends up at the bottom of Connery's 007 films is that he seems a little bored with the part here. He is required to undergo a disguise, for one of the very few times in the whole series and it is not a very convincing disguise. When he gets identified by Blofeld as not a real astronaut because he tries to hand his oxygen tank into the space capsule, it ignores the fact that he is also twice as big as the other astronauts. The background characters start the trend of repeating ideas orally that are being shown on the screen. "Closing Blast Doors", "Astronauts ascending vehicle" and the countdown all are irritating and they all really start with this movie. Neither of the Bond girls seems very interesting and once one has been killed it makes no sense to continue the disguise. Donal Pleasance would have been a good Blofeld for the whole series, but in retrospect, the scar and the distinctive vocal mannerism would be a hindrance in other episode.  The theme song is beautiful and I remember where it was I first saw the film (AMC Rosemead 4). It does have the distinction of being the only Bond film my father ever took me to. I think he was nostalgic for Japan where he served as part of the occupying forces after WW2, as far as I know I don't have a half brother in Japan but stranger things have happened.

Second from the bottom of the Connery pile is "Diamonds are Forever", Connery's return to the role after a one picture hiatus.  I remember seeing the movie "Patton" at the Garfield Theater in Alhambra. In the outdoor foyer, right next to the box office window, was the poster for this film. It looked dazzling with Bond standing aloft a moon buggy and girls draped over him and the diamonds in the reflector of the satellite behind him. How cool it was. When I saw the movie I thought the same thing. However, additional viewings over the years have been less than kind. Connery looks bored, the story is full of odd holes, and the villain is left hanging and we don't get to see for sure that Blofeld is finally eliminated.

As a young man this was one of the first times I had been exposed to gay characters on the screen. That same year there were some mincing hitchhikers in "Vanishing Point" and Clint Eastwood disses one in the park right before meeting Scorpio. Wint and Kidd were deviate killers who were also comic relief. Today, they would never have made it to the screen. Times have changed and so have attitudes toward homosexuals. The fey killers who hold hands and get a sexual thrill by having their hands lifted between their legs from behind, are part of a legacy of sexual mores long put behind us. Their stupidity in being unable to eliminate Bond a half dozen times however should be the issue that people complain about, not the swishing portrayal by musician Putter Smith and Crispin Glover's Dad Bruce. The whole Howard Hughes angle is pretty solid and there is a terrific theme song from Shirley Bassey. I did like the sexual innuendo in the film from Bond toward the women
 James Bond: Weren't you a blonde when I came in?
Tiffany Case: Could be.
James Bond: I tend to notice little things like that - whether a girl is a blonde or a brunette.
Tiffany Case: Which do you prefer?
James Bond: Well, as long as the collar and cuffs match
"As long as the collars and cuffs match", I had to be a little older to figure that one out. "Named after your father perhaps", that one I got right away. I also noticed that the Mustang switched sides when rolling through the alley, there was a funny continuity error.

While not an official part of the Eon/Danjaq catalog, this film can't really be ignored the same way the 1967 Casino Royale can be. This is a straight 007 adventure, a remake of Thunderball and it stars the guy who originally played Bond. After parting ways with Eon, Connery left with bad feelings concerning his compensation for playing the part. He donated his salary from Diamonds are Forever to A Scottish Political group, but always felt shortchanged by Saltzman and Broccoli. This may have been a poke in the eye as a way of saying so. This film exists because Fleming had been foolish enough to work on a series of scripts using Bond as a potential television series. Nothing came of that and he used some of the material from those scripts in writing the novel Thunderball. Unfortunately he had a collaborator on some of that material. He tried to launch his own series of Bond films, and ultimately worked with the regular producers to make the original Thunderball film. His negotiated agreement gave him the remake rights after a ten year period and he went forward with this production. This film was released the same year as "Octopussy and did about 60 to 70 percent of the business the official release had done.

There are several things about this film that I like quite well. Barbara Carrera played Fatima Blush, and she is so over the top fun, she actually got a Golden Globe Nomination for Best Supporting Actress. I love the way she dances down the stairs when she thinks she is going to get to kill Bond. Klaus Maria Brandauer plays Largo, and he has so much more personality in the part than the actor from the original Thunderball, it makes the earlier performance noticeably weak by comparison. Watch the way he blows on his fingers after getting shocked in the video game he plays against Bond, it is a moment of delightful madness. You can see in his manner and eyes the sort of insanity that would be required to attempt the crime he is perpetrating. Max Von Sydow should have been Blofeld in other Bond films, he was very well cast but severely underused here. Kim Basinger is a pretty nonentity in an early role. I have no idea why Mr. Bean is in the movie, and Edward Fox as M is such a prig that it besmirches the memory of Admiral Messervy. Throw in the lack of real Bond music and some weak support from Bernie Casey, and you end up with a shadow of the original.

The original "Thunderball" was one of the biggest blockbusters of the 1960s. When adjusted for inflation it stands as the most financially successful of all the Bond movies. The audacity of Goldfinger was multiplied by a bigger canvas for the story telling. More exotic locations and bigger set pieces are put into place. As a kid I wanted the 007 lunchbox with all the frogmen fighting underwater. It was an image that sold all of us on the adventure we had coming. As far as I know, this is the first story to exploit the idea of nuclear terrorism. It was not of course the last. Here was SPECTRE as a real organization, with a board of directors and a chairman presiding over crime and doling out death as a punishment for failing the company. In a way, with all of the numbers, and secret locations and passwords or codes, it is the mirror image of MI6, and the bureaucracy that Bond actually represents.

There are great sequences in the picture and some real imaginative gizmos in the story. The jet-pack is just so outlandish that it gives the ejector seat a run for it's money as the most over the top toys of 007 in the early films. The miniature breathing apparatus looks like it could be practical for emergencies. Bond gets taken for a ride in an early Mustang, he has an underwater version of the jet-pack, and he gets yanked into the sky forty years before Batman uses the same technology in "The Dark Knight". The problems with the film have to do with pacing. A slog through the stuff at Shrublands, hide and seek in the Mardi Gras like parade in Jamaica, and the underwater battle looks cool but needed some editing. "Thunderball" is like one of those great Thanksgiving meals with so many choices, that are so rich and you want to try them all. When you do, you feel a little sick afterwards. "Thunderball" doesn't exactly make me sick, but my blood sugar is usually a little high after I watch it. I should get up and go for a walk, but I usually just fall asleep contentedly. Another blogger El Santo, did a fantastic piece on the music from "Thunderball', that goes way beyond the theme song. I hope he is OK with my linking it here, you should read and listen.


The first James Bond film introduces us to the character and to Sean Connery at the same time. The two will be inseparable for all time. I hope Connery knows how much his playing the part did for all of the fans of the books and the movies. Actors get identified with roles and sometimes it is a burden. Here it is a crown. Connery is the Best James Bond ever and the first three movies prove it every time someone watches one of them.

Connery is handsome and dangerous in this initial outing. We get a sense of the coming insouciance with the early dispatch of the fake driver who picks him up at the airport.[Bond pulls up to the front of Government House with a dead man sitting up in the backseat]
James Bond: Sergeant, make sure he doesn't get away.

 From then on, Bond is both funny and heartless. He can be moved by the right woman and has no compunction about betraying the wrong one. Assassins come in all forms, blind trigger-men, duplicitous geology professors, and creepy crawlies in the middle of the night.  He defeats them all but not always with ease and sometime brutally. Bond has had hundreds of great lines, but one that espablishes his character comes from this movie.

[Professor Dent tries to kill Bond, but his gun is out of bullets]
James Bond: That's a Smith & Wesson, and you've had your six.
[shoots Dent twice]
You don't screw around with Bond and expect to get away with it. This movie introduces the Bond theme, the idea of the Bond girl, and a long line of imaginative villains, lined up tp take advantage of the world but finding 007 standing in their path. I don't know exactly why it is only the third greatest of Sean Connery's Bond adventures, except that it lacks some of the gadgets and the conclusion of the movie seemed a bit quick. The first three 007 films are the triple crown winners of the greatest James Bond sweepstakes. Dr. No is the jewel on the left.

My favorite Bond novel was "From Russia with Love", my favorite Bond adversary is Donald "Red" Grant. My favorite Bond girl is Tatiana Romanova. Once upon a time the movie of "From Russia with Love" was my favorite Bond film.There is so much about this film that works it just amazes me. The cold war intrigue was great, the fact that the two sides were being played against each other was brilliant, and the hidden face and disembodied voice of Blofeld was perfect. I love the vocal of Matt Monroe doing the theme. It does not actually appear at the beginning of the movie, but it is featured on the radio when Bond is out punting with Sylvia his London girlfriend, and it plays over the end credits.  Monroe had a smooth silky Sinatra type voice and gave the tune a rich romanticism that the plot called for.

I fell in love with Tatiana when I first saw her as a kid of ten years old. I did not need to wait for puberty to be sufficiently moved by the image of a beautiful woman wearing only a black ribbon around her neck as a nightgown. If ever there were a defining moment as to ones sexual identity, this pretty much put me on the hetro team. The fight between Bond and Grant is legendary. I need to travel on the Orient Express just to walk in the footsteps of 007. Kerim Bey was maybe the most enjoyable ally Bond ever had in the movies. Connery was getting ever more comfortable in his role. At some point Bond stopped wearing hats, but this early 60s time capsule showed that it was still possible to be a sex symbol while wearing a fedora.

That leaves us with the best of Connery's interpretation of the greatest gentleman spy of all fiction. It should come as no surprise because everyone know that it is not just Connery's best, it is the best Bond film ever. "Goldfinger" is the movie that made Bond an eternal character. Other movies had had sequels before. Many film series had had several follow ups, but this was the first time that a third film in a series, raised the stakes like this. Other series simply tried to milk the character for what it was worth before disposing of him. This movie made the character more, made us want more, and delivered more than we had any right to expect. After this, we always expected Bond to be bigger and better than he was before. Even when he did not succeed at doing so, he usually tried and if he failed, he went big doing so.

This film also features the greatest of the James Bond Theme songs.



I hope you took the 2:49 seconds necessary to enjoy a piece of pop perfection. Shirley Bassey did three Bond themes, all of them were beautiful but this one slays us. Listen again to the horns, they sound incredible but they can't compete at the end with the bellicose howl of this amazing chanteuse

Goldfinger had Odd Job, the greatest henchman of all time. It had the Aston Martin with an ejector seat, the greatest gimmick of all time. It had Auric Goldfinger, the best and most completely realized 
villain of the series. This movie even made golf interesting to watch. The images and names and plot of this film set the standard for all Bond films to follow. Maybe Skyfall will challenge some of these films for position on the list of great Bond films. I hope so, but I don't know how anyone can come close to this piece of 20th century cinema perfection.




Countdown to Skyfall Part 1
Countdown to Skyfall Part 2
Countdown to Skyfall Part 3
Countdown to Skyfall Part 4
Countdown to Skyfall Part 5

Countdown to Skyfall; 50 Years of 007 Part 5

Roger Moore

The fact that Roger Moore is at the low end of my personal rankings of actors who have played James Bond, should not be held against him. He has always been a gentleman, he has always done his work and he has always entertained. Moore, who was originally considered for the role before Sean Connery, played Bond staring in the 1970s, when the part was written to emphasize spectacle over drama, and action over tension. The James Bonds of Roger Moore's career, were for the most part lighthearted, with a good dose of humor. Two of his films would easily make my top ten list of James Bond adventures. Unfortunately three of his versions of Bond would be in the bottom five as well. Two of the Roger Moore Bond films actually do try to play it relatively straight, and they fall into the middle of the pack of his portrayals for me.



The above clip is on youtube and has some nice clips and there is a pretty good commentary to go with it.

The Least of the Roger Moore Bonds #7

At the bottom of the barrel of Roger Moore Bond films, is Moonraker. A film that was moved up because it's title and theme ultimately let Bond cash in on the Star Wars craze. It was the last of the over the top, repetitive, super rich, villain seeking to start a war and destroy the planet scenarios.

So much of the film is played for laughs that it might actually rival "Airplane" for jokes per minute. Unlike the flying comedy from ZAZ a year later, the jokes here rarely hit. It is unfortunate that the movie doesn't work better because there are some pretty good sequences. The opening parachute escape, the theft of the Moonraker Shuttle, and the fight on the tram gondolas in Rio were all solid Bond moments. These are overshadowed by the somewhat silly hydrofoil gondola in Venice, with the corny music punctuating the jokes, and the ridiculous space battle on board an otherwise well designed space station set. For a moore (sic) elaborate look at my opinions on Moonraker you can click on the poster to the left.

Just One Up from the Bottom

Also scraping the bottom of the barrel is Roger Moore's last appearance as 007. It is hard to believe that a film featuring Christopher Walken as the villain, a guest appearance by Patrick McNee, and a location shoot in beautiful San Francisco and Northern California, could go so wrong. To begin with, the horse racing action scene in the first part of the film is one of the most embarrassing sequences in a Bond film. Tanya Roberts is a pretty woman who is miscast as a wronged geologist. The idea of another chase in San Francisco, after "Bullet", "Dirty Harry" and a dozen others is not really enhanced by doing it with a firetruck and doing it at night where it will look like a processed shot, even if it was done on location. The belligerent local cop did not work in prior Bond films, so why is it here as comic relief?

A couple of things work, Bond chasing Mayday (Grace Jones) up the Eiffel Tower and then her escape by parachute is solid, the car chase at the end of the sequence though is turned into a punchline and it loses it's value. Walken sells crazy a couple of times, but his character is so underwritten that he is not very consistent and his performance is also inconsistent. The Duran, Duran song was great in 1985. It sounds a little dated because it was so much of it's time rather than classic Bond, but I did remember being excited to hear the music and see the video on MTV. A missed opportunity and a fairly lazy end to Moore's career as James Bond.

Once the Bottom But Moving Up Slightly

At one point, "The Man with the Golden Gun" was my least favorite Bond film. Sgt. Peppers (oh yeah, I know it is Sheriff Pepper, but this is part of the joke) makes a return. Bond is focused on the energy crisis, (another topical reference) and the henchman is played by the actor who who go on to fame as Tattoo on "Fantasy Island." The Bond girl is just about the stupidest spy in the world, and with the exception of Denise Richards, the worst actress in the whole series.  The target range for Scaramanga is a good idea, that is executed poorly and the outcome is telegraphed from the very beginning of the movie.

The martial arts theme is another one of those topical ripoffs that so characterized the films of Roger Moore in the 1970s. The villain's hideout is an elaborate resort, training ground, science center and energy plant, all manned by three people, one of whom is so stupid he gets bested by the stupidest character in all 23 007 films. There are a couple of things to recommend it still and some of the reason that it crawled up from the bottom of my list include these. The boat chase in Bangkok is solid (despite the presence of Peppers) .There is an amazing car stunt that was not CGI, although it is undermined by a terrible sound effect that drains it of any plot point. the locations feel fresh and they are spectacular at times. Scaramanga is a great idea for a character, but he is wasted here and Christopher Lee who is perfectly cast is performing the role indifferently. One more thing, while it is not a gadget that Bond gets to play with, I love the "Golden Gun" assembled out of pocket contents and containing one golden bullet. It is truly a cool piece and deserved it's own poster.


So now we have looked at the three worst films of Roger Moore as James Bond, let's turn to some more successful efforts.

Finally Some Films I'm Not Embarrassed to Recommend

"Octopussy" is the name of a James Bond adventure, not the title of a would be reality star here in Southern California with 14 kids. Maud Adams returns to the Bond films as a new character, with a better role and a name eight times as provocative as Honor Blackman's character. Louis Jordan plays the villain, an Indian Prince with an unpleasant  personality and not much charisma. The film is set in India and West Berlin, when there still was a West Berlin. There is a topical theme, but one related to political controversy not just the colorful background. A plot to explode a nuclear device, framing the American Military in Western Europe, in order to create a military advantage for a rogue Soviet General's plans for invasion. The U.S. was indeed deploying advanced theater nuclear weapons in Europe as a defense against the conventional superiority of the Soviets along the Iron Curtain. It was big political news and the "peace" groups that were protesting certainly would have pushed for the outcome of an American withdrawal. All of this makes "Octopussy" one of the rare Bond films that exploits the real dangers of the Cold war instead of the plans of a criminal organization or a mad billionaire.

Still, no one goes to see Bond for a primer on Soviet-American relations. There are a few goofy scenes here that move it a little lower on the list for me. The crocodile one man submersible is a funny joke but a misplaced idea. The hunt for Bond by Kamel Khan through the jungle is mostly silly and it features a joke of Bond using the firm voice of Barbara Woodhouse, a TV celebrity that no one from today would recognize. The best action scene is the top of the train fight with some of the circus performers and the chase of the train by the Russians.

The Third Best Roger Moore Bond

I like this Bond film a lot for some very basic reasons. It brings Bond back to the world of reality, it has some beautiful Mediterranean locales and the girl in the story is Tilly Masterson with a better aim and a lot more sex appeal.  There is a revenge story that drives the plot, the Havelocks who are killed at the beginning are friends of M, and he wants to know what happened. Their daughter shows up and she is a proficient archer with a cross-bow. There are two mortal enemies that eye each other in the world of espionage that 007 drops into in Greece, Albania and Yugoslavia, and the suspicion and shifting loyalties play a little havoc with our nerves.

There are a couple of humorous elements but they don't overshadow the story and they are not outright ridiculous the way so many stunts and action scenes had been played before. The ski chase is thrilling, the car chase was turned upside down by the explosion of Bonds car alarm, and the fight on the mountain is solid. Roger Moore's best moment as a real cold-hearted spy exists in this movie. As an assassin is trapped in an automobile, tangling on a cliff, Bond coolly reminds him of the lives he has taken and then kicks the car so it tumbles down and kills the henchman he has been pursuing. That is a spy with a bad attitude and a sense of justice. Topal plays one of the local spies who turns out to be a better ally to Bond then he has had in fifteen years. It also features a pop song that is very much of it's time but also clearly in the long vein of James Bond themes. My buddy Dan over at Fogsmoviereviews.com hates this film, but it is catnip to me.

The Second Best of Roger Moore (Amanda's Favorite)

This Bond film has a lot going for it but I know with many Bond fans it also has some baggage. Let me start with the good stuff, Paul McCartney and Wings do the theme song and it is killer. The Opening crescendos and then we get s string of great guitar riffs and banging piano notes. It slows down for some violin and then crashes again with drums and guitar. Except for Goldfinger, it is the greatest Bond theme song of all time.

The voodoo motif and the tarot cards give the film a distinctive visual style. Let's face it, 70s fashions were not always long lasting, so having a visual sense that is still timeless helps keep this movie somewhat fresh. The boat chase is one of the best action sequences from the 1970s Bond films and it still holds up well. There was humor in the film, but it had not descended to the juvenile level of Moonraker yet. The two best laugh out loud spots are also part of the story, not simply throw away bits. When Bond runs across the backs of the alligators to escape the gator farm, it is funny but also clever and it works (in case you did not know it, those were real gators and the stunt was done live).  Also, when Kananga gets his comeuppance, it looks wild, funny and disgusting at the same time. It is a delightful exit for the loathsome Mr. Big. This movie also has the privilege of being my daughters favorite Roger Moore Bond, she reviewed it for my site as a guest reviewer a couple of years ago.  

Some object to the racism they see in the movie. It was made during a period when blaxploitation films were all the rage and it is an example of how the series tended to piggyback on trends in the 1970s episodes. Bond and his allies never said anything that I thought was racist.  There is an unfortunate comic relief character that comes off as a small time southern bigot, but he seems to be the butt of the jokes. Bond has his first black romantic Bond girl in the film. If your appreciation of movies cannot allow the tone of the times to be present in a movie, there will be a lot of films you should skip. Overriding all of this however is Jane Seymour, the most beautiful Bond girl of the Roger Moore era and the second most beautiful in the whole series.

The Greatest Roger Moore Bond and a Top Five on any Bond List

For a Deeper Look Click here

The Spy Who Loved Me, is the title of Ian Fleming's worst Bond novel but Roger Moores best film. The settings of this film include the romantic Italian Mediterranean islands, Egypt, the snow capped peaks of Austria, and the biggest sound stage in the world which eventually was referred to by everyone as the 007 stage. There are gadgets, and double crosses and kidnapped nuclear submarines. An iconic henchman to finally rival Odd Job, appears and is almost indestructible. The Bond girl is not a random girl but a Soviet spy, equal to Bond in fame and talent. This is cold war paranoia being exploited by a rich nutjob, the first but unfortunately not the last.

The start of the movie is one of the most iconic James Bond moments ever. If for some reason you have not seen it, I don't want to spoil it. Just be aware that it is a real stunt performed by a real daredevil. While it might not make great sense, it has a great sense of style. All Englishmen would certainly applaud the payoff. The title song is a lovely piece of pop perfection that is entertaining and it was a big hit. I just don't think it has the Bond style that I want. While Roger Moore is usually seen as the comic Bond, he got in some good licks in the series and one of them is here. A bad guy is clinging to 007's tie as he leans precipitously over the edge of a high balcony.   Once Bond gets the information from him as to the location of his boss, he swats the tie and straightens it as the henchman falls to his doom. A piece of nonchalance brutality that Roger carries off quite well. I always recommend this film to neophytes because it has so many of the characteristics of a Bond story: A visit with the evil enemy, a reluctant sexy heroine, an outlandish plot that threatens the world, some good chase scenes, a couple of sly jokes (and some bad ones) and a big battle that pits a crew of allies against the army of evil that somehow the bad guys always manage to assemble. They try to top the Astin Martin from Goldfinger, and they have some fun with it, but it does seem a bit too over the limit.





Countdown to Skyfall Part 1
Countdown to Skyfall Part 2
Countdown to Skyfall Part 3
Countdown to Skyfall Part4

Unlock the 007 in you. You have 70 seconds!

  So I found this on Monday morning and my day just got brighter. Love both Bond and Coke Zero. I am a commercial sellout. Big deal, I smiled for ten minutes.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Countdown to Skyfall: James Bond 50th Anniversary Celebration Part 4

Welcome back to part three of my countdown. I have been posting a series of rankings for the James Bond films by actor. The first ranked the films of George Lazenby, that one was not hard. Then I ranked the most underrated of all James Bonds, Timothy Dalton, who unfortunately only did two films as 007. The last time out I attempted to rank the current Bond, Daniel Craig, he has three in the can but one of those is not out yet. I feel confident that Skyfall will not be lower than Quantum of Solace, but if I am wrong, I will be the first to tell you that. This post will deal with the films of Pierce Brosnan, a man who was destined to play Bond but had to wait ten years after getting the job to start making any films.

Brosnan was all set to take the reigns from Roger Moore, he was minutes from the big announcement when he got dragged back into the TV series he had starred in, which had been canceled, and then picked up again at the last minute. From my point of view, this actually worked out pretty well. We got Timothy Dalton for two films, and Brosnan was given a chance to ripen into the role. He was a skinny, young, baby faced TV actor about to make the leap to the biggest action role on the planet and he looked like the TV star that he was. Much to pretty to be Bond. When he finally did get to return to the part, he was more mature, handsome but not pretty, and he looked like he could take a punch or two, not like he might break if the wind changed. Just look at the difference and tell me that ten extra years didn't make him a more credible Bond.

Once he had the part, the series had to be relaunched. Dalton did not play Bond a third time because lawsuits and studio intrigue put off the series. There was even an attempt to hijack the character and create another studios version that would compete with the Broccoli version every few years. Once that was sorted out, new people were brought on board to breath life into the old fellow. I remember reading an article in the LA Times that suggested that in light of the big budget, high action, superstar movies like
"Speed" and "True Lies", that Bond had probably run it's course. Does that sound familiar to all you recent 007 fans? I hear all the time how Bourne is the next Bond, but it does not seem to have worked out that way, and once again, our hero is rising to the top of the cinematic world. Martin Campbell, a TV director, who had made a nice brutal action film called "No Escape" was given the responsibility. I had only seen a couple of episodes of Reilly Ace of Spies, so I was barely familiar with his work. He joined with Pierce Brosnan to bring Bond back to the screen in the mid 90s, and they started the series of four Bond films that Brosnan would head up.

It is a bit unfortunate from my point of view that the Brosnan films went in reverse order of their greatness. The weakest of the four was the final one he made, although it was financially the most successful.

Die Another Day

This film had all of the elements to make one of the most memorable Bond films. The opening features an MI6 mission that goes bad, Bond is captured and tortured in North Korea, and then a prisoner exchange returns him in disgrace as he is suspected of giving up info to the enemy. The title sequence shows most of the torture in an inventive way, and actually advances the story during it's running time. The problem is that it is running under the worst of the Bond title songs ever. A piece of Madonna dance music that neither fits the film or makes Bond fans want to dance anywhere except on the grave of her career.



I did not have a problem with Halle Berry as Jinx, the American agent that Bond hooks up with, although the CGI dive she makes to escape the island is annoying to me and a precursor to even worse CGI offenses to come. In the end, instead of being recalled for it's villains or plotting or action scenes, it becomes the Bond with the para-sailing, Tidal wave and the invisible car. A sad legacy to leave the role on for Mr. Brosnan,

The World Is Not Enough

Before the movie came out, I got to flex my Bond muscle a little bit in public. Here in Southern California, there was a popular movie themed radio show on weekends, hosted by writer and soon to be director Rod Lurie (The Contender, Straw Dogs). When the film went into production and the title was announced, I got on his show for a two minute conversation about where the title came from. It is one of those arcane bits of knowledge from having read the books (OHMSS), that it is in fact the motto on the Bond family crest. Like all of the Brosnan films, the scripts here are original and not based on any of the books. Sophie Marceau had just been in "Braveheart" and she was a beautiful choice for an antagonist. I liked the return of Robbie Coltrane in his character from "Goldeneye". The plot point of M being kidnapped would have made a more effective driving force for the story, but I guess Bond does have to save the world in a film entitled "The World is Not Enough".


The character played by Robert Carlyle is largely wasted. he is built up as having this superhuman endurance and an inability to feel pain, but all of that barely registers, even in the climatic sequences where he and Bond engage in direct combat. Denise Richardson is easy on the eyes and hard on the ears. Her line readings sound like some of my students giving a speech that they mostly copied, and have never read out loud before. The opening boat chase on the Thames was solid, as was the submarine fight scene. The lighter than air craft attack seemed a little silly, but for a guy who hates snow and does not engage in winter sports, I am a sucker for some good skiing sequences.  The movie was satisfying in the way a fast food meal might be when you are hungry and do not indulge in all the time. It tastes good immediately, but a day or two later, you barely remember that you ate it.

 The teaser poster for this film is an exceptional example of graphic design. The silhouette of Bond in the classic pose with the raised arm and gun, framing a fiery background in which a nude armed woman can be seen, promises everything a Bond film could want. Sex, Violence and coolness. I have an extensive collection of movie posters, and there are a few Bond films in my catalog, unfortunately this is not one of them. Someday that will have to be remedied.

The reason it did not get there is probably because I was anticipating a killer A sheet when the final form showed up. Instead, what we got was the weakest Bond poster ever, a photoshopped abortion of images that is thrown together so gracelessly that it could actually keep people out of the movie theater. Despite the presence of two attractive women on the poster, it looks about as inviting as a cartoon drawing on the back of a cereal box, designed to entertain kids while they stuff themselves with sugar laden rice, wheat or corn. "The World is Not Enough Falls to third place in part based on this sad excuse for marketing. Wasting the potential that the teaser set up was a nearly unforgivable crime.

Tomorrow Never Dies

There are a few things to recommend this film on. First of all, the female agent from China played by Michelle Yeoh, is the best counterpart Bond has had in just about any of the movies. It always seems strange to me when the secret service agencies are populated with disposable types and Bond continues to be the only one who lives to the next adventure, or has anything at all meaningful to do. Here Bond has met a real equal and when they finally do start to work together, it feels like the odds have moved in their favor. There is an exciting sequence when they make their escape from the villain, while they are handcuffed together. A lot of creativity went into making the sequence both exciting and entertaining.


I know a lot of people who are not enthusiastic about the Sheryl Crow title song, but I thought it worked pretty well. She has a lazy sort of tempo and the nasally tone in her delivery keeps it from being a pretty song. Instead it fits into that category of Bond songs that reflect their times. Like Duran Duran, or Sheena Easton, Crow is a singer of a specific period of music. She was the bridge between indie cool and mainstream success in the mid 90s.

Brosnan is actually very good in this film. In "The World is Not Enough" I felt he was crusing and in "Die Another Day" he was just putting up with the nonsense. I think if there had been a little more development of the Teri Hatcher part with Bond and some of their past, it might have been more meaningful at the end. As it was, it was simply a solid B 007 film.

Goldeneye

In addition to being Pierce Brosnon's first Bond film, it reintroduced the world to 007 after a six year absence. Personally, it meant a lot to me because it was the first Bond film I had seen without my best friend going along. Art Franz and I met in High School and were debate partners. We also shared a love for James Bond. We had both read all of the novels, and together from the time of "Live and Let Die" to "License to Kill" we saw all the movies with each other (and in later years our wives). He died in 1993 and never got to see Brosnan as 007. When I first saw the picture I remember thinking he would be pretty happy with the way it came out. I know I was.

Goldeneye was a relaunch if not a reboot of the series. In addition to a new Bond, M was replaced by a woman, and she is noted as being more of an accountant than a spymaster. While I was suspicious of Judy Dench in the role, she seemed to hit the right notes immediately and she has been a steady presence in all of the succeeding Bond adventures. The director Martin Campbell, managed to take a relatively small budget in comparison to James Cameron's True Lies, and make the film feel big and fresh. The opening bungee jump from the dam, which was actually performed by a real stunt guy, is marred only by the first encroachment of CGI in the series right at the end. They needed a cheat to finish off the dive with the pinion gun shot and Bond being deposited at the base of the dam. It just does not match up well. After that however, everything falls into place.

The villain is revealed to be 006, Bond's friend and equal when it comes to spycraft. The integration of the new Russia into the story worked well. Former antagonists become unwilling allies, former friends become enemies. the dialog between the spies in the story is really very entertaining. Robbie Coltrane and Brosnan have a nice interview with the threat of death and past animosities hanging over them. Joe Don Baker comes back to the Bond series as a different character, like Charles Grey and Maud Adams before him. His work a day, somewhat sloppy American, is a fun contrast to the stiffs Bond usually has to deal with. His avuncular nature and toss off line readings add a sense of fun to the proceedings.

They make us wait through almost an hour of the film, but when the James Bond theme finally shows up, it is in an over the top, exciting chase through Moscow with a tank.

I teared up a bit when the music finally made its appearance and the segment is one of the highlights of the movie.

The one flaw that I always saw in Brosnan as Bond was his inability to sell the sexual double entendres. He doesn't toss them off casually like Connery or Moore did. He seems to highlight them so we will notice. I also found that the scripts with Brosnan put some of those lines into the mouths of Q, Moneypenny, and even M and that is just not right. I liked Brosnan as Bond but I never loved him the way I did Connery and Dalton (and now Craig, if he can try to have a little fun in Skyfall). Even Roger Moore, for whom I hold great affection as Bond, did more to sell that part of the Bond experience.

So Brosnan ends up on my list as declining in each picture. Let's find out about how you see it. Choose your favorite Brosnan 007 in the survey below and let everyone know how you see it.

SINISTER

This is a movie that wants to have it two ways. It wants to be a supernatural thriller and a serial killer procedural. Although there are moments in the film that work pretty well, as a whole the movie just feels empty. It neither builds it's Boogie man enough nor bothers to explain how certain clues leading to the solution of the crimes, end up being relevant. Ethan Hawke stars in the film and while he is a good actor, the part he has to play here does little to build a desire for us to see any particular outcome, one way or another. It's Halloween time, and I wanted a scary movie, all I got were some creepy ideas and a couple of jump shots.

The first hour of the film is the most effective, as the family settles in to a new home. We learn that Dad is an author of true crime stories, and that after hitting it out of the park ten years earlier, he has lingered on the fringes of fame without being able to write a very successful follow up. It is hinted that one of the books since his big breakthrough actually had the opposite effect of bringing truth to light and that good people were harmed by what he wrote. None of this is ever explained, and it sounds to me like a more interesting story than the one we sit down to watch. It turns out that he is so desperate to return to the center stage, he has purposefully moved his financially strapped family, into the home of a family that was recently murdered. Oh, yeah, he doesn't tell his wife. Basically, he is a sad self centered narcissist, one who has talent but has lost his way. You sort of wonder if this has anything to do with the events that follow.  Although it ends up creating some character points for the family, it mostly ends up in screaming scenes that do little to build suspense and have basically nothing to do with the murders.

The clues as to what happened to the family, begin with a reel of super eight film. That's right, the technology that was cutting edge thirty years ago and made for a great Spielberg inspired film last year, it the technology that was used by the killer to film the murders as they take place. Now we understand that there is a supernatural power behind all of this, but how that film gets developed and edited and then ends up in the attic, after everything in the house has been searched remains a mystery. Also remaining a mystery is why Dad is the only person in the house to be awakened by  the loud footsteps in the attic, the repeated running of the projector on it's own, and the mysterious sounds that echo throughout the house. Whenever he goes to investigate, he also manages to lose track of where the light switch is, get out of bed without waking his wife or kids, and generally accepts that material he has boxed up will be placed on the table, threaded into the projector and run on it's own.

The best character in the movie is a small town deputy, who is anxious to help the writer, despite the antagonistic attitude of every other  law enforcement officer due to one of those books that went bad. The deputy likes the idea of being included in the acknowledgements of the new book. When he tells the author that he always wanted to be thanked  in a book with one of those phrases like "It would not have been possible without the help of Deputy So and So", he gets that nickname and that is how we know him. The deputy is a small town guy, but he is not a rube. He understands the nature of true crime investigation and the psychic scars these traumas can leave behind. He also thinks the writer is nuts to be living in the house. The conversations the two of them have are the high points of the film, both with humor and with creepy foreshadowing. He is also one of the only characters that appears during the story. Mom talks about how the family is hated and she can't shop without being stared at, but we never see her anyplace other than the house. The son gets in trouble at school for sharing info about the crime in a disturbing manner, but we never see any teachers, classmates or neighbors. Only the Sheriff ever speaks to them outside of the house. Maybe the idea was to make the movie claustrophobic, but my feeling was that it just made the movie cheap.

There are plot lines that come up and go nowhere. The son in the family has night terrors. It is not clear that it has anything to do with the plot since the parents both speak as if he has had them his whole life. The daughter paints, and that provides the payoff for the home movie set up of earlier crimes. The earlier crimes are visualized for us, but so little background is given on them that they feel a little meaningless, just gruesome wall paper for the current story. Mysterious dogs appear for no reason, do nothing and then are never seen again. The expert that the write consults, talks to him by video chat, for no reason whatsoever. There is no visual payoff on this point and it is just another place where the movie feels cheap because they did not want to have too many locations.I still can't think of any reason that the wife is British.

Maybe since "The Turn of the Screw", haunted children have been creepy. The image of the two little girls in "The Shining" stands out as one of those moments. Earlier this year we had some of the same type of creepiness in "The Woman in Black". This movie goes that direction as well. Unfortunately, it is not a single child or a pair of children that appear to haunt our protagonist. It is a set of six or seven kids that show up in gaunt faces, grey skin and bloodied clothes. The effect is not frightening, instead it feels like a bad birthday party is breaking up and all the tired and grumpy kids are still waiting for their rides home. This movie felt less and less scary as it went along. I did think the ending was true to what had been set up, but I also though it was trite. I don't understand how anyone other than the writer working on his true crime book, would end up doing the things required to bring the evil spirit into their life and then pass it on. It did not make any sense and none of the rest of the movie does either. There is a good premise here, but it is wasted in underdeveloped plot and a shortage of scares.

Seven Psychopaths

Some films thrive on story, other depend on special effects and many rely on star power to make the experience worthwhile. "Seven Psychopaths", wants to be story driven. It is pretty clear that it grows out of the screenwriters struggle to come up with an interesting story to tell. The problem is that the screenwriter here has too many ideas to put into a story but no real story that can make them all work. He puts them in anyway. If you pull at the threads of the films narrative, things just don't fit together very well, and it feels like a creature assembled in a windmill somewhere. It is an interesting creature but not a beautiful one and not well crafted. This movie thrives on it's performers. The three main characters are played by three pros who know how to put quirky on the screen. They are joined by another actor, who is not in the same class but brings considerable skill to the game and makes the mix work even at times when the story fails.

 Let us start with the Godfather of modern quirk itself, Mr. Christopher Walken. For thirty years he has been the odd guy out in movies. Sometimes his weird delivery and haunted face bring terror to our hearts. When know that he is a ticking bomb and that when he goes off, there will be trouble like you cannot imagine. Other times, he is the charming comic diversion; a comforting joke in the middle of a movie that needs some life or audience sympathy. If he can singlehandedly steal "Pulp Fiction" from all the great characters populating that movie, and do it with what is basically a three minute monologue, then you know you are in the hands of a real performer. He he is a featured player and he may have the most lines if anyone bothers to count that stuff. He begins the film as all older man charming, movies to scary repressed fury and finishes with bemused indifference. His line readings and facial expressions are worth the price of admission in most movies he appears in, and his part is more prominent here. You will get your entertainment value from him.

 I love Sam Rockwell as an actor. The first time I was sure that I noticed him was in "Galaxy Quest" and I am laughing now while simply thinking about his performance there. He can be warm, dangerous, smart or stupid and he is believable. In "Seven Psychopaths" he may be the most over the top character, but he plays it as naturally as anyone can, slipping into the skin of a deranged but lovable sociopath. He has an uncomfortable sex scene that he plays without any self consciousness. The one spot where he goes off the reservation in an unbelievable way, takes place during a desert camping moment when peyote is the alleged cause of his behavior. Writers must think drug use gives them leave to just put anything they want into a story, including dialogue that is not funny but is supposed to seem funny. I fault the script here, not the performance, this one scene leaves him with nothing interesting to say. Down the road he makes up for it, but it did miss the mark there.

Woody Harrelson, manages to be scary, even though he has the quietest voice and most open face of any of the actors. You can however see the deadness in his eyes when his character turns dark. His moments in the film usually feature humor that stems from frustration and he can be exasperated with the best of them. The plot involves a dog-napping that features Harrelson's Shih tzu. As a psychotic crime boss, you can imagine that this is not going to go down well. Harrelson has a great scene where he terrorizes the dog walker who works for him, after his beloved pet disappears. You will be able to accept either outcome of the interview, because he sells sick pretty well.

 The odd man out is Colin Farrel. He is so much better in a movie like this than in junk like the Total Recall remake. I think he is very solid here, but when you are surrounded by these three specialists in odd, your quirks and work will be less noticeable. He still gets some pretty good lines and his facial expression upon the reveal of Walken's unique body art, is quite convincing. He and Walken play off of each other well once their two characters come together in the rambling nature of the story. Farrel is essentially "Barton Fink", a screenwriter so caught up in writer's block that he starts looking for psychopath stories to fill in his list of characters. We are left to wonder, which stories are his and which are real. He drinks so much, he can't tell where his ideas start and where others ideas take over. This is the plot thread that lets in all kinds of wild story ideas, most of which never pan out. The short bursts of creativity are followed up on occasionally, but often without much purpose and sometimes with confusion. Are the two mixed race couples real, the same, one person with two different lovers, or something all together different? We don't really know, all that matters is the plot point going at the moment, but don't worry, in another minute we will be off on another track.

As an exercise in entertaining performances and short story cleverness, "Seven Psychopaths" works. In the last third when we get three or four different ideas for an ending, I think you will wish that the writer had spent a little less time creating the quirky characters and histories, and a little more time giving them something to do that makes sense.