My Fair Lady (2024 Revisit)

 

I've been watching reaction videos on YouTube this week. When I see Gen Z kids reacting to bands that I listened to back in the seventies, and they are emotional in the way they hear the music and the voices, it reminds me quite a bit of the way I feel every time I see a movie like “My Fair Lady”.

It would be completely inappropriate for me to simply video myself in a theater while watching a movie, but that's sort of the way I think this review should go because my reaction to this movie is completely emotional and spontaneous. If you watched my face while I'm watching the movie, you would see smiles and tears and a hundred other emotions because this movie evokes some of the nicest feelings you can have about a film. I'm not a huge fan of musicals on stage. I have seen my share, and I usually enjoy them, but I'm not a completionist and I don't insist on seeing every musical that comes along in a stage production. I've never seen the stage version of “My Fair Lady”, but I have seen this film a dozen times and it gets to me with each viewing.

The presentation of this movie on Sunday, included an overture, which is one of the things that is frequently missing from modern films. The musical score is given sort of a greatest hits montage of themes from the film in a brief preliminary before the start of the movie. In the background are screenshots of dozens of different kinds of flowers, which of course evokes the reminder that Eliza Doolittle is a flower girl. Just hearing the themes gets my emotional Mojo going. When the title comes up I'm ready for just about anything. The movie could easily have won the Academy Award for costuming after the first 3 minutes of the film, during which none of the principles actually appears. A crowd leaving the Opera is filled with elegant gowns and elaborate headpieces that make you wish you were going to the same Opera just to see what everybody is wearing. When the story finally starts, the costumes of Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn are not particularly interesting, but they do sell the characters and their social position. But don't worry, there is greatness to come,

First though, we have to meet our main players and set up the plot. Rex Harrison created the role of Henry Higgins on Broadway. The rumor is that Jack Warner offered the part in the film to Cary Grant, who said that if the part didn't go to Harrison, not only would he not do the movie he would not even see the movie. Whether this apocryphal story is true, it does reflect the accuracy with which Rex Harrison is appropriately cast in the role. Henry Higgins is a self-righteous, accomplished, over privileged, snob. Yet his snobbery is not based on wealth or social status, but rather on the enunciation and dialect of the people that he interacts with.

My background is in rhetoric rather than in linguistics, but sometimes those two fields cross paths, so I have a natural interest in many of the things that Henry Higgins points out. I would have very little patience for practicing an elongated “e” or an abbreviated “i” or any of the other tools that are used to make Eliza's speaking voice more effective. As an American it's probably true that I'm much less influenced by the manner of speech than I would be if I were a subject of the British Empire. We are a little more egalitarian, but not without our prejudices. Those biases that we usually do have, reflect cultures that are expressed more in clothing and manners than in pronunciation. While not completely outside of the realm of enunciation prejudice, it is the British who are notorious for their obsessions with dialects and vowels.

Audrey Hepburn was cast in the role of Eliza Doolittle, despite the fact that Julie Andrews originated the part on the stage. Jack Warner was unwilling to allow a first-time screen performer to try and carry his movie. As we all know, the irony is that Julie Andrews won the Academy Award for best actress this same year, for “Mary Poppins”, after being passed over for the role in “My Fair Lady”. Still, Hepburn does a magnificent job in portraying Eliza, regardless of the fact that her singing voice is usually dubbed. She gets great comic power out of her speaking voice and facial expressions in the first act. She also looks glorious on screen. She has the magnetic quality that real film stars possess. Paired with Rex Harrison, the sparks really do fly. Harrison has a highbrow attitude and vocal disdain for Eliza, and can manipulate her with his snarky comments and indifference. The fact that the supporting cast of household servants all see Professor Higgins as the oppressed person in the relationship is particularly amusing. There are glorious moments of laughter when he mocks Eliza's pronunciation, and when  Eliza herself reacts to something that Professor Higgins said.

The production design on this film is extraordinary. The house the professor Higgins occupies and moves Eliza into, is a multi-storied puzzle, which gives the characters the chance to move up and down a set of stairs while singing both in frustration and in happiness. The drawing room/library and the workroom where Eliza practices her vowels, are rich with little details that make it clear that Professor Higgins is a meticulous academic and certainly qualified in his field to undertake the transformation he is attempting. The production design doesn't let down even in moments of obvious backlot work, for example the race at Ascot. Even though it is clearly not an actual race track, the emphasis is appropriately on the characters rather than the horses. The black and white gowns worn by all the ladies at the track are simply stunning. Each one seems more elaborate and stylish than the one that came before it, capped off by the Beautiful form-fitting gown that Eliza wears, putting everyone else to shame. In regard to her speech however, she has mastered her pronunciation, but her pace and rhythm are not yet representative of someone from the upper crust. Her vocabulary also contributes several moments of hilarity in the situation. The fact that she is dressed to kill, makes all of those moments even more preciously funny.

The first half of the film is just about perfect. The presentation we saw on Sunday, through another Fathom event, included an intermission. The third Act that plays after the intermission has some of the best songs, but some of the weaker parts of the book that the play is based on. Eliza's dilemma and Higgins' resolution does not make a lot of sense, but it does have an emotional component to it that makes it work. There are songs throughout the film that you could probably sing on a continuous loop like an earworm that simply won't go away. Not only could you have danced all night, you could have hummed all night.

I have no hesitation applauding the changes that took place in the film industry in the years following this movie. Storytelling has gotten better, and actors are all more naturalistic. I am however still very nostalgic for the kinds of quality and craftsmanship that showed up in this film, a quintessential studio movie of the era. Director George Cuckor does a masterful job. The film glides along effortlessly, making use of a massive street set, detailed Interiors and Professor Higgins house, as well as the ballroom in the Transylvania Embassy. This is the kind of stuff that was done to perfection in the old Studio factories. The artifice works because the details look wonderful. The Craftsman who created these settings are incredibly talented. Today most of this work would be done by computer technicians creating a CGI environment, with the actors performing in front of green screens and being inserted into the context. Somehow we've lost something despite adding to our toolbox.

I don't drink or use hallucinogenic drugs because I understand how damaging an addiction can be. The euphoria that comes from seeing a movie like this is probably as close as I will ever come to the rush that the heroin user first feels when they shoot up. I am perfectly happy living within the boundaries of that kind of high. As long as I get my fix every once in a while, sitting in a theater, watching a film and listening to the music and being overcome with emotions as a result, I don't really feel I've denied myself anything by refusing illicit drugs.

Argylle

 

I will confess from the beginning that I am a Matthew Vaughn fan. Out of the films that he's made there hasn't been one that I haven't loved to some degree or other. I anticipated “Argylle” like I would have one of the Kingsmen films, it's a spy thriller with that Vaughn touch that makes them so entertaining and unique. I must also confess however, that this is probably the weakest of the films that I've seen from this director.

Let me point out the things that are problematic before I get to the things that I love so much. Everybody expects that there will be twists in a spy Thriller. After all, betrayal, double agents, and hidden agendas are all part of the field. So of course there will be some surprises along the way. The issue this film has is that it has a change, twist, or revelation every 10 to 15 minutes that makes the movie suddenly change direction and make us question not just our loyalties but the plot structure itself. Sometimes you can just be too clever for your own good. That's what happens here, screenwriter Jason Fuchs seems to be operating under the assumption that if we're going to give up any sense of reality in the visuals, then we don't have to be realistic to the plot points.

It's a Fantastical story, that asked us to suspend our disbelief from the very beginning,and then it asked us to do so again, and then one more time, and then several more times, leading to a little bit of exhaustion in trying to keep track of what the hell is going on in this movie. They have compensated for those faults by creating inventive action sequences and interesting characters, but action sequences are not plot, and when characters change repeatedly, we begin to distrust our own sense of what it all means. Those are not the kinds of things that are going to make most audiences happy.

The main things that keep this film from collapsing altogether are those action moments and the main characters that we get to know from the very beginning. Let's just face it, Sam Rockwell makes everything better, and when he dances, the movie is probably going to be a lot more worthwhile as a result. Rockwell does dance in this movie. Bryce Dallas Howard, plays a somewhat introverted character for the first half of the film, and without giving away a big spoiler or two, there are some dramatic changes that take place in the second half of the film that even the greatest of actresses would have trouble pulling off. She does the best that anybody probably could with what the script gives her.

Two other actors in the film also have their plot lines substantially seem to change the characters they are playing, at least for a short period of time. When it happens it's a little disconcerting, until we get another twist that reveals why even these characters have changed their personalities. The story also gets complicated by the fact that we are jumping back and forth between three different World Views. In one, Bryce Dallas Howard's character Elly Conroy, is visualizing the fictional story that she has written in her spy novel. The second viewpoint comes from Sam Rockwell's character, Aidan Wilde, as he appears to be a real life spy who is intervening in the story in a way that makes Elly extremely nervous. When we finally get to two more big twists, another perspective is added that we bounce back and forth between, without being sure where we are going to land. I'm sure the director and writer thought that this would be a fun ride for the audience, but I think you have to win the audience over before you can pull off something like this, and they don't quite accomplish that in time.

As is usual with a Matthew Vaughn film, there are cleverly directed and visualized gun battles throughout the story. The most effective one, includes a lot of scenes of hand to hand combat, as well as the use of firearms, on a speeding train in the first half of the film. There are inventive moments where Aidan acts quickly and definitively when dealing with the threats to Elly. One thing that might slightly undermine all of this is the presence of a CGI cat and an exit by Parachute that is also clearly a CGI moment. It's my belief that the CGI in a more primitive form is being used this way to remind the audience that this is all a fantasy, and not to take all of the murder and death too seriously.

As the plot gets more ridiculous, which distances us a bit from the movie, we get rescued by over the top visual sequences which are also ridiculous but are completely entertaining. On the podcast this last weekend one of the guests cited two sequences near the end of the film that she was bored by, these were the two sequences that I was most amused at. The fight in the hallway with the different colored smoke and the gas masks made me laugh hard. When we get to the next sequence which involves an oil slick, a couple dozen thugs, and some improvised ice skates, I not only laughed at how preposterous it was, but also how confident Vaughn and Fuchs were in designing this silly but nicely rendered moment. I didn't just have to suspend my disbelief, I had to suppress all reasoning and just enjoy the stupidity.

There are some very clever moments in the film where the main character Elly, mixes the events that are happening to her with the visualization that she has of her fictional spy. She sees the very same events that she is going through through the lens of her hero. Henry Cavill seems to be auditioning for at least the third time to be the next James Bond. These spy films have very different tones, and this one would suggest that Cavill would be playing Bond closer to the Roger Moore version, then to the Sean Connery or Daniel Craig versions of 007. I'm not sure that this is the best direction to take. John Cena is in the movie briefly, but was completely delightful in the moments that he had. Samuel L Jackson plays Samuel L Jackson as usual in this case, as an ally rather than an antagonist.

The most valuable player in the film, aside from Rockwell, is Catherine O'Hara who is playing Elly's mother, and her plot line is dramatically different from what I had anticipated. Of course that's one of the twists that you will probably wonder about when it shows up. On the other hand, Bryan Cranston is chewing the scenery exactly how a villain is supposed to in this kind of movie. There are a couple of other characters that pop into the story a little bit, and they provide exit strategies and some ridiculous answers to difficult plot choices. I just had to keep reminding myself that it's all in good fun. Otherwise, you're going to have a better time mocking some of the things that happened in this film, rather than laughing at the silly things that the filmmakers want you to laugh at.

A Birthday Game

As the years go by, I find more time to indulge in some distractions. To celebrate another trip around the Sun, I have given you a quote from a movie,  from each year I have been around.  The question is "can you name the movie?"

Some are easy, some will be difficult.  If you bother to answer,  I will bother to tell you what you got right and what you missed. Have fun storming the castle. 

Galaxy Quest Revisited

 

Last week I got to talk about The Princess Bride and add it to my list of perfect films. The original post that I wrote several years ago included three films that at the time I would classify as perfect. I haven't changed my assessment of those films, but I continue to evolve in my appreciation of them every time I see them, and I got to see one of them again this week.

It's been said that Galaxy Quest is the best Star Trek film ever made. I think that's probably a correct assessment. Those things that we loved about Star Trek, the characters, the camaraderie, and all of the tropes that make up science fiction television of the 1960s are present in this send-up of a Star Trek type television show. The lead actor played by Tim Allen, is a thinly disguised version of William Shatner's Captain Kirk. The outsized ego of the star, gets put in contrast to the attitudes of the secondary players and co-stars of the series. Sigourney Weaver gets a chance to play comedy, and boy does she nail it. She does let her wig do half the work however. Oh and her push-up bra. I'll get to the work of the other actors in just a minute.

The thing that makes this film resonate so much with its loyal audience, is that it represents them not in a satirical way but in an affectionate one. We all know those fans who take the minor portions of the thing they love and obsess about them. In this film The “Questers” attend a fan convention and do the usual cosplay, and line up for autographs at $15 a pop. That episode of Saturday Night Live where William Shatner went off on the fans of Star Trek and told them to get a life, feels like it is the basis for several of the moments in the early part of the film. The  actors in the cast of the canceled TV series Galaxy Quest, struggle for relevance, while having to make do with personal appearances that cash in on their celebrity from their time on the show. When they are at the fan convention, they recognize for the most part that it is the fans who have sustained any career that they might have. When Tim Allen's character Jason Nesmith goes off on a fan in the autograph line it, frustrates everybody else and surprises them. Even though they are all irritated that this is what their careers have been reduced to, they still recognize that the fans are sincere and care about them. None of them would want a fan to be disappointed. This film takes geek culture seriously while still mildly lampooning it. The fan boys and girls have their fantasies about the characters, read online sources for information about the show, and have a depth of knowledge that befuddles the cast of the show. It's those very things that allow the Thermians to be perceived as fans instead of the aliens that they are. Jason has a private gig booked, and it was with some of the fans that he dissed at the convention, and he mistakes the Thermians for the group that he is supposed to visit.

Harold Ramis was supposed to be the director for the film, but he dropped out when Tim Allen was cast as the lead. He thought that this was the wrong move. In fact it was the perfect move because Allen was at the height of his TV Fame and was just crossing over into movies, and the confluence of those situations with the character that is written in the script is just perfection. Sometimes you just get lucky. Speaking of lucky, the supporting cast is so deep with talented actors that it's a little ridiculous. Tony Shalhoub gets laughs with the mildest kind of expression on his face, looking a wee bit high and befuddled, but also extremely confident in some situations and frantically overmatched in others. I think the implication was that he was chemically treating his emotional issues, and that is reflected in the performance of his character. He is frankly hysterical. Of course hysterical is a relative term and if there is a level that is one step up from that, that is where you'll find Sam Rockwell in this movie. Almost everything he says is a comic gem, and his desperation, fear and ultimate redemption add some real spark to the story as well as making the emotional heart of the movie even more solid. This may have been the first time I recognized Rockwell's genius, and I have been enjoying it ever since. I can't wait until next week when he stars in “Argyle”, the new movie from my favorite contemporary action director Matthew Vaughn.

Fandom is well represented by Justin Long as the leader of the fan group that has big questions for Jason, and is a little too obsessive about the technical readouts of their spaceship The Protector. If you have not seen the film and don't know what I am referring to, I'm not going to try and explain it to you, this site has never been about simply restating the story for the readers. This is a movie that's been out for 25 years now, and if you don't know the premise, you're just going to have to see it and then come back and read these comments to make sense of it all. Long has the earnestness of a young fan, and the whining voice of a frustrated teen when dealing with his mom. Enrico Colantoni, Patrick Breen, and Missy Pyle all score laughs at some point as the Thermians. At one point Raiin Wilson is in the film, but he disappears completely once we are on The Protector. 

The CGI may be a little wonky, after all it is 25 years ago, but none of that matters because the special effects in the original Star Trek were never great, and that never mattered. The value of these shows was in the characters and situations, not in the flash and visual extravaganzas that we get in so many science fiction films these days. I really enjoy the fact that the Thermians built their version of The Protector based on the television show, because some of the technology looks like an adoption of a game console, and some early computer technology. Exactly the kind of thing that might have been done on Star Trek. Even if it is sometimes just Christmas lights, the fans don't really care because they came for the characters. Which is what I've been doing for the last 25 years with this terrific film. Alan Rickman, a comedic performance that is equal to all the dramatic work that he did in the later part of his career. “Galaxy Quest” along with “Robin Hood Prince of Thieves”, contain two of the most iconically hysterical comedic performances of the 1990s. Rickman is sorely missed, but we at least have this iteration of him to cherish in our memories.

The Princess Bride: An Inconceivable Evening with Cary Elwes

 

It's rare that you find a perfect movie. A few years ago I had a post up about three films that I thought fit that category. When I say perfect I don't mean that it's the best film of all time, or that it's essential for everyone to see it, although I could never understand why somebody wouldn't want to go and see a perfect film. What I mean by perfect, is that it could not be improved by any changes made to it. The parts that are there, have been assembled in the correct way, they all fit together, and they work exactly as they are supposed to. “The Princess Bride” certainly belongs on the shelf with any film that could be described as perfect.

Once again I had the opportunity to see this perfection on the big screen with a receptive audience. On top of that, it was screening at my new favorite theater, The Paramount in Austin Texas. And just to add frosting to the cake, the star of the film Cary  Elwes, who wrote a book about the making of the film a decade ago, was there to share some stories after the film was finished. What can I say about “The Princess Bride” that hasn't been said by hundreds of people before me? This movie is funny and dramatic, full of the swashbuckling kind of adventure that I have loved since I was a child. It also has a heart to it that beats and moves us like no other film I can think of. When I was asked by my daughter what my favorite moment in the film was, I had to admit it's the last line when the grandfather, played by the great Peter Falk, says to his grandson, when asked to return and read the book again to him tomorrow,” As you wish.”

That moment gets me every time, because I think of my own children and my parents and grandparents and everybody who cared for those who came before them or after them. This is a story for everyone. And it's a story about true love, the rarest thing in all the world. And I'm not just talking about Wesley and Buttercup. We all get a chance to feel embraced by and loved by this film. It makes a Giant feel like a human being that we would want to be friends with, it makes us cheer when the bad guys get their  comeuppance, and we're all willing to sit through the kissing parts in order to get to the good stuff.

I saw this film originally when it was released in 1987, after my parents had gone to a screening at the studio. They enjoyed it but we're not overly impressed by it. My father's half sister Cherry Ann worked for Norman Lear, and she had arranged for my parents to go to the early screening. My wife and I were really jealous because we had looked forward to the film. In spite of my parents' lack of enthusiasm, we rushed to see the film as soon as it came out. And like those who have come after us, who scratched their heads and wondered why this wasn't a bigger hit, we could not understand why the movie was not being embraced by audiences everywhere. Frankly we loved it from the moment we saw it.

This was the middle screening of three showings of the film with guest Cary Elwes at the Paramount Theater this month. Of course we had bought our tickets when the first show went on sale, and then two shows were added, one in front of and one behind the screening that we were going to go to. A decade ago we went to a fantastic screening, also with the star of the film, when he was doing a signing of his newly released book,” As You Wish”. It was one of the best outings I had with my wife in the last decade of her life. You can read the story of that event here.

Mr Elwes, I'm sure, has told the stories that he shared with us many times before. However, as with all good storytellers, he enthralled us with details, spoke with voices that recalled the people he was talking about, and was thoroughly enthusiastic about the moment. There was nothing artificial at all about his conversation, even if it is something he's done a thousand times before. He recalled the story of his injuries on the set, and took full blame, even when others may have contributed a little bit to his on-site mishaps. He recalled with great fondness everyone's friendship with Andre the Giant, and he does a great impression of both Andre and director Rob Reiner. It feels a little bit after having listened to him, as if we were on the set as well and went through the adventures with him. Which is exactly how you want to feel in an event like this, with a movie that's perfect.

One of the great things about seeing a movie that you have already seen dozens and dozens of times, is experiencing it with others who feel the same way about it as you do. Last night a capacity house, laughed and cried and cheered as “The Princess Bride” took us on the adventure that we all know so well. We were all a little incredulous when we heard that Mr Elwes had only watched the movie three times. After all, collectively among the people in this audience there may have been a million views of the film. It's doubtful that any of the 1,000 or so people there had seen the film only a single time. Okay so maybe a million is a little hyperbole, but you get the idea, this audience knows the movie.

Like many of the films of this era, the special effects, production design, and cinematography make the film feel so much richer than it would be if it had been produced in the era of CGI. The Cliffs of Insanity and the Fire Swamp, looks so real yet it's clear that it is artifice. And we the audience are swept up by the fervor of those Charming effects, and the spectacular, beautiful, cinematography. Watching The Man in Black chase Fezzick, Vincini, Inago Montoya, and Buttercup up the cliffside, is thrilling. It's also funny, and filled with some of the lines that people have memorized over the years. It was easy for me to foresee that this film would have long-term legs, I once judged at a speech tournament where one round of the impromptu speeches were all quotes from this movie, and that must have been in 1989.

The sound of laughter was also highlighted by regular applause when our heroes were introduced and our villains taken down. The occasional lone applause clap when Mr. Elwes was telling a story would be amusing because sometimes it was for something completely incongruent. For instance one member of the audience happened to have lived in the area where the movie was filmed. Mr. Elwes laughed at the single clap, and was gracious in acknowledging the beauty of the area. When questions were submitted by the audience ahead of time, they were read out loud by the interviewer, and Cary answered enthusiastically. The host called out one question in particular as his favorite, and asked where the little girl was who had submitted the question. Her family was quick to wave their hands, and Cary, left the stage and went over to talk to her personally to answer her question. But she was young, maybe eight or nine and the thought that a thousand people would be looking at her made her even more shy, Mr. Elwes did his best to minimize her discomfort, and draw attention away from her and back to the question. It was a moment of warmth from the star who was being considerate both in trying to see the girl personally and in withdrawing from her because of her shyness. It was a moment of complete sweetness, in keeping with the whole evening.

Deep Blue Sea

 

The best Shark film not directed by Steven Spielberg, came out 25 years ago and was directed by Renny Harlan. “Deep Blue Sea” is a disaster film with sharks or maybe it's a Shark film with a disaster, either way it is hugely entertaining and accomplishes exactly what it's supposed to, entertaining us while giving us jump scares, characters that we can enjoy, and an opportunity to see sharks rip people apart.

No one is going to mistake it for great art, but it is easily great entertainment. Those of you not familiar, the story involves a laboratory set in the ocean in order to analyze the brains of sharks that are being manipulated in order to produce enzymes that would be useful in reversing brain damage or dementia. Of course genetic manipulation is supposed to be prohibited in this world, but you know there wouldn't be much of a story if the scientists didn't act like most scientists do. They are Headstrong and full of themselves so they don't need to listen to what anybody else thinks.

This movie has so many moving parts that you could easily do a podcast on it just one chapter at a time and fill up a Year's worth of material. I wonder if anyone has thought of doing that? Sometimes the confluence of our film interests and others' maniacal love of a particular film will cross paths. I invite you to visit Deep Blue Sea: The Podcast, but before you do that ,you can pay attention to a few of the comments but I have to make here.

“Deep Blue Sea” came out in a Time when CGI technology was just beginning to give filmmakers the ability to visualize things on screen that had not been seen before. For the most part the technology was up to Snuff for this film. There will however be occasions when maybe the technology is a little obvious on the screen and that can be disconcerting for a moment. The filmmakers in this case however also had life-size models that they could use in the laboratory scenes and there's some animation of those models that helps pull off some of the technical mumbo jumbo that goes on in the setup. Once the story really starts we get mostly CGI sharks.

Thomas Jane is the action star at the center of the film, as a Shark wrangler. Yeah you might ask what a shark Wrangler does, but you probably won't get a better explanation from anyone else than the film gives us. He basically makes sure that the sharks in the film get put into the laboratory lift when it's time for their examinations. Apparently it's also his job to go out and hunt down the sharks should they happen to get out of their pens. Which is of course the start of the film, where Jane's character Carter shows up just in time to rescue young couples on a catamaran in the middle of the ocean. Later in the film we also discovered that he is supremely confident about being able to move through the water when the sharks are free, at least until he discovers that they have started hunting in packs. Then his confidence seems to be shaken, don't be surprised however when it is restored in the final scenes of the movie.

The film takes the “Earthquake” disaster film and “The Towering Inferno" and puts them together on the ocean and then throws in some sharks. The Aquatic station suffers from a massive hurricane that disables a number of its systems. Once there is an injury on the station which requires a Medevac helicopter to pick up the injured party, we also are going to get a crash that is going to light things on fire and do even more damage. So inevitably the survivors who are trapped on one level have to figure out a way to get to another level while avoiding sharks and being fried. Along the way you know that some of them are not going to make it, and of course that's what you were hoping for all along.

Sharks with Genetically Enhanced brains just sounds dangerous, without even having to see what they are capable of doing. When we do learn that they can swim backwards, that they hunt in packs now, and that they can read the plans and Technical layout of a water-based research Institution, and have figured out how to herd human beings through the debris so that they can take advantage of what the humans can do, suddenly it seems like developing opposing thumbs isn't really all that important to evolution.

The sharks in this film are not simply eating, they are malevolent and intentional in the attacks they make on the humans in the story. At least the writers didn't try to give the sharks dialogue in the story, that might be a bridge too far. What's not a bridge too far however are the quips, problems, and personal disputes that make up the rest of the film. If you've never seen “Deep Blue Sea", I don't want to spoil it for you, but there is a very famous jump scare that occurs just at the point that it should. It also looks plenty frightening.

In addition to Thomas Jane, we get Saffron Burrows, LL Cool J, and assorted other performers who will struggle to get to the surface. Actor Stellan Skarsgård takes a jump on all of the violent action, and is part of the most memorable moment in the film other than that jump scare I mentioned. He really has very few lines, but he still manages to convey intellectual weight, because after all he smokes a cigarette in a laboratory environment, what can be more confidently certain than that behavior? Michael Rapaport is also in the film as an engineer who knows the station inside and out so he is in essence the Google resource that gets used for most of the film when our survivors are trying to get from point A to point B.

The Jurassic Park movies laid the groundwork for large animals ripping people apart on screen and leaving the pieces to be dealt with by others. The sharks treat at least two victims as if they are wishbones at the Thanksgiving dinner. And even when it is a solo shark that's chomping down on one of our forlorn Heroes, that shark makes an effort to insure that the body ends up not just chewed up but divided. There is a lot of CGI viscera in this movie, and we can all be thankful for that.

As with most horror films, some of the human beings have to make stupid choices in order for the events to take place. It's not just the stupid people that suffer, smart guys, confident women, and street smart chefs are all subject to being eaten or at least gnawed on a little bit. Oh, and don't get too attached to the parrot.

I've seen this film at least a dozen, and I've been a guest on the “Deep Blue Sea” podcast, but going out to see the movie the other night may be the most memorable experience, because we had to brave sub freezing weather to get to the theater. Maybe the rest of the world is used to doing that, but this transplant from Southern California does not like when the temperature is in single digits. This was one of those times we're ordering the popcorn not just to satisfy a desire to eat something but also a desire to have something warm in my hands while watching the movie. Still, it was worth it.

The Beekeeper

 

I love it when a movie does exactly what it's supposed to do for you. Some films have a very simple objective, to entertain you in the genre that they're made in with the talent that is brought to bear. I can't say that every Jason Statham film I've seen has been satisfactory, but the majority of them fall into that category, and with “The Beekeeper", the average is going to go way up, because this film is exactly what it sets out to be.

As usual Jason Statham is wreaking revenge on individuals who strongly deserve to be punished. There is virtually no attempt to add humor to the story, or to make it dramatically deep, at least not past the requisite set up. Statham plays a man who has retired to take up beekeeping in its literal form, after serving in a Secret Agency where he was referred to as a Beekeeper, primarily to protect the hive when things go wrong. It's an agency so Secret that even the director of the CIA has little information about it, and that turns out to be a big part of the story.

Maybe someday Jason Statham will be recognized as an actor with Incredible thespian skills, but until that day he should definitely be recognized for his action star persona and credentials. Statham is a one-man Wrecking Crew, much like Bruce Lee in those early kung fu movies where he would take on an army of opponents and single-handedly crush them all, Statham does the same thing.  He usually uses his martial arts skills, he certainly does not limit himself to hand to hand combat. He is perfectly willing and able to engage in Small Arms combat, sabotage, booby traps, and assorted other violence to get his way. In this film Statham plays Adam Clay, which may or may not be his real name but it doesn't matter, what does matter is that he was a beekeeper. The beekeepers are warriors that make the SEAL Teams,  the Army Rangers, and assorted CIA Black Ops look like sissies by comparison. They strike fear into the hearts of even the most hardened assassins, and the antagonists in this film have crossed paths with maybe the most dangerous of the beekeepers. You know this is not going to end well for them.

It might be good to think of Adam Clay as The Terminator, because he is an Unstoppable Force that can't be bargained with,  that will never stop and absolutely will reach its goal. Fortunately for us, in this film, the Terminator is the good guy, and we can applaud the way he knocks down the pins that the bad guys represent to this bowling ball of a human being. Basically he hits a strike every time and the pins fall with mechanical precision in interesting ways each and every scene. John Wick would do most of this work with his gun, Adam clay does most of his with his fists, feet , elbows, and head. And when those don't work he'll find a gun or a flamethrower or some other handy tool that he can use to kick some more ass.

If the film needs any weight, it gets it from Phillicia Rashad in the opening section as an older woman who has offered Clay some assistance in his transition to actually taking care of beehives instead of international intrigue. When she is the victim of cybercrime, the perpetrators have crossed the wrong path and Statham is on them relentlessly. It doesn't hurt that three of the villains are so smarmy that you want to kick their ass yourself. And when they finally get their individual comeuppance, let's just say, it's the kind of satisfaction that people like me, who treat “Taken” as high art, are going to be applauding.

Jeremy Irons also lends some credibility to the film as the former CIA director who is tangentially connected to the Enterprise that ripped off Adam Clay's friend. He also knows what's coming, and half the fun of the movie is watching people who think they understand what they're getting into discovering that they are in way over their head. When Statham shows up at a call center with two gas cans and he tells everybody that he's going to burn the place down, you can bet that it's going to seem incredulous at first as if it can be laughed off. But when he proceeds to do it we're going to smile and think, hell yeah that's the way to handle a Consumer complaint.

This movie is not going to receive any awards for its dramatic integrity, but if the Academy finally caves and creates an award for stunts, then there's a good chance a film like this would get some appreciation. When these sorts of films are providing the backbone for keeping movie theaters in operation and for acting as tent poles for the rest of the theatrical releases by the major Studios, then it seems it would be an appropriate time to maybe have a category at the Academy Awards for face punching, ass kicking, straight shooting, and generally amazing creative fight sequences.